KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN

Funk's Grove-Chapel of the trees

 I continue to learn to keep my heart open to allow love and blessings to enter my heart and soul.  I strive to see the beauty and Divine in all people, nature and God's creatures.  As I looked up at the beautiful tall trees in the quiet wooded chapel, I saw an open heart in the way the branches had grown over the many

decades.  The trees were standing tall and straight as if reaching for the heavens, bare of all foliage, thus allowing  me an opportunity to see the way the branches reach out.

 I hope this image will continue to remind me to keep an open heart in the coming New Year.  I look forward to each new day to see what the Universe will unfold.

Quotes for the New year

 I was looking through my collection of quotes that I have accumulated over the past three years, so many of them have a special meaning for me.  Some helped me stay balanced and centered,  quieting my inner critic. Many of them are from daily e-mails I subscribe to, and a couple are from sermons that spoke to my heart.  I chose only twelve, one for each month for the New Year 2012. 

1. Forgiveness-is not wanting anything in your past to be any different that it was..therefore accepting it and letting it go.

2. I am willing to let go of past hurts so I can evolve as a human being.

3. My daily intention is.....find what makes me happy and focus on that..do not dwell on others negativity.

4. I free myself from dragging my past into my future.

5. I will surround myself with positive light to stay balanced.

6.  I choose to see beauty and good wherever I go...'thinking makes it so.'

7.  I am responsible for my happiness and meeting my needs to stay in balance.

8.  Whatever your worries are...let it rest...let it rest in God's hands.

9.  I let go of the need to be right and choose peace instead.

10. It doesn't mean anything-it's nothing personal.

11.  I seek the gift of wisdom within each 'negative' experience.

12.  The approval I seek must come from me.


Blessings to all my dear friends in 2012..

ANGELS ARE EVERYWHERE

The wings of angels are often found on the backs of the least likely people.

by Eric Honeycut

One September evening about twenty years ago while driving to my home, I came upon a mysterious sight.  It was a man in a white t-shirt on a bicycle, which was he was riding in circles in my lane which was maybe thirty yards from the intersection. The light was green and I could have made it through the intersection, or so I thought..  I stopped but wasn't frightened even though at that moment there were no other cars near me.  I just stared at him, wondering why he was doing that in my lane.

As I sat in my car, still unafraid, a car came through the intersection crashing into the stoplight.  It then started going slowly in circles and I wondered what had happened to the driver.  By now other cars were in the lanes near me as we waited in disbelief.  The police arrived and managed to grab the car door as it continued in circles and brought it to a stop.  The police then directed us to make a right turn on a one way street that was going left and told us to go around the block. 

I was somewhat frightened by this as I was unfamiliar with this less than safe looking neighborhood.

I followed the other cars and came upon a street I knew would take me back to the main road and onto the interstate.  I knew then that was my guardian angel keeping me out of harms way that evening.

Other angels sent to me was baby Uriah, whose name in Hebrew means 'God is Light'.  I met him and his young Mother in a beautiful park,  as he got near me he reached up his precious baby arms for me to pick him up.  I still remember the feel of him in my arms that day and felt it was a hug from God.

The middle aged man in the brown coveralls with the beautiful light blue eyes had a certain light about him.  Was he an angel?  I believe that he was, I felt such a blessing from him that cold day on a busy street corner.

I know my angels have protected my many times through out the years,.  There have been occasions that I narrowly missed being in serious car accident and felt immediately the angels protected me.  One occasion was witnessed by a co-worker in the car behind me on the way to a Christmas party.  How I managed to cut across two lanes of traffic to avoid a crash amazed him.  When we arrived in the parking lot he got out of the car holding up an Angel Beanie Baby and said my angel got me through that busy intersection.

I also have many earth angels who mentor me with kind words and healing touch, one of whom will probably read this and know she is my earth angel.

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to all.

LIFE'S LESSONS

tasting the stars

"is there a salve for the wounds of shame?' she asked.

a gentle smile spread across the old woman's face.

leaning closer, she whispered,

'ah yes, but it's more than than.

much more.

use it abundantly with kindness and sincerity

and it becomes fire for the soul.

it lights the very stars in side of you back to life.

it is compassion.

have compassion for yourself and others -

deep compassion, freely given,

and you will do more than heal those wounds,

you will truly life for the first time,

and you will taste the stars.'"

terri st. cloud



When I dared to ask an individual in my class if she possibly knew the homeless man, whom I had given  food and gloves, she was abrupt, telling me he probably wasn't homeless.  I had some warm neck scarves I wanted to donate to the overflow shelter and  was  informed that wasn't the place to take them.  I was beginning to feel stupid and felt myself growing smaller and smaller as this was all said in front of seven other class members.

During this brief conversation she told me they (the homeless) knew where to get free clothing. 

I could feel some of the others eyes on me , wishing they were having their own conversations.  Our break was almost over to I excused myself and went to the bathroom, taking a few deep breaths, praying to get through the next hour of class.

Yesterday as I was still feeling the pain of this event I took the scarves and some coffee and sugar to the Mission, they gave me a tour of their facility.  The lady explained they have been offering coffee, donuts and free clothing for over a hundred years.  There is even a chapel on one side, a nice kitchen  where they prepare the coffee, complete with dishwasher to wash all the cups.  They had served about 130 that morning.  In addition to this gathering place for the poor they have showers and a laundry area they can use once a week.

I was touched by the man, homeless or not as I looked in his eyes.  He represented every human soul who has had many struggles in life, whether it be lack of money, alcohol or drug abuse, mental illness, and the list goes on and on.  I am thankful for the blessing I received as I shook his hand and looked into his eyes.

 I prayed that evening in class to have compassion for the lady who hurt my heart, I feel compassion for her now as we all have a dark side as well as a light side.  I wonder how many individuals I have offended or hurt by words or actions that were not intended to hurt, but were perceived as such.

THE BIRTH OF THE CHRIST CHILD

Sharon's Christmas Prayer

by John Shea



She was five,

sure of the facts,

and recited them

with slow solemnity

convinced every word

was revelation.

She said

they were so poor

they had only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

to eat

and they went a long way from home

without getting lost.  The lady rode

a donkey, the man walked, and the baby

was inside the lady.

They had to stay in a stable

with an ox and an ass (hee-hee)

but the Three Rich Men found them

because a star lited the roof

Shepherds came and you could

pet the sheep but not feed them.

Then the baby was borned.

And do you know who he was?

Her quarter eyes inflated

to silver dollars.

The baby was God.

And she jumped in the air

whirled round, dove into the sofa

and buried her head under the cushion

which is the only proper response

to the Good News of the Incarnation.

I found this verse in one of my class books and enjoyed the simplicity of the story.

TEARS TURNED INTO SMILES

Earlier this week I was having coffee at Edgar's, a little place I have been going to for muffins I don't need.  They have the most delicious home baked muffins, sandwiches and coffee.  Of course I prefer the pumpkin or their new raspberry/white chocolate muffin with their light roast coffee.  While I was waiting for my order, a little girl about four years old came up the counter and tried to ask the clerk for something.  He didn't understand her and neither did I.  I thought she wanted a napkin or a stir stick.  She ran crying back to the table she shared with her Grandparent's.  They were at a loss as to what she wanted other than she was embarrassed because she wasn't understood.  I told them to tell her I didn't hear very well so she wouldn't be so upset and would come out from under the table and stop crying.  They finally figured out it was  hand sanitizer that she wanted to use before eating.  I had some wet one's I gave the Grandfather for her to use.

  She finally settled down and eventually came to my table to return them and tell me thank you.  I had found the new bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse and gave it to her telling her it was her own personal small bottle of hand sanitizer for  Grandma to carry for her.  She ran back to her table so excited that she had her own sanitizer.  She and Grandma came back to me and said I had made her day.  With her bright red hair and little lavender velour outfit she was excitedly telling me all the pockets she could carry her personal bottle of sanitizer in and could carry it in her backpack to pre-school.

A little $1.00 item meant so much to her and I was delighted to share with her.

Another Christmas Blessing for me.

HIS SOUL TOUCHED MINE

Yesterday my heart was touched as I looked into the most beautiful light blue eyes of the homeless man as I handed him the other half of my still hot personal pan pizza.  He was standing on a very busy corner not far from my home.  His face and eyes haunted me all afternoon.  Today I went shopping in the same area and he was once again on the same corner, after shopping I stopped at McDonald's and purchased him a meal and coffee.  Pulling into the nearby parking lot I took my bag of food and walked to the corner to meet him.  I told him I had shared my pizza with him and he remembered.  He only had on one glove, I asked him about the missing glove and it was the only one he had.  I told him I was going in the drug store to buy him some gloves.  One of the clerks gave me some change to put on the purchase and suggested a thin pair to be used inside the leather gloved I picked out.  On the way out I decided to buy him two Reese's peanut butter bars and a Twix bar.  I once again walked to the corner with my little bag of  purchases and he was so grateful for the gloves.  Showing me that he had eaten half of the large hamburger he said he was going to share one of his coffee's with another homeless that was down a little further.  I wished him a Merry Christmas and we said God Bless you as I walked back to my car.

I told him he had the most beautiful blue eyes, he shared that he had inherited then from his father who had passed on.  I asked him his first name and he said it was Don.  My first thought was that was my ex-husband's name (now deceased) and thought he even resembled him except for the eyes.

As I drove out of the parking lot he was vigorously waving to me.

They may be homeless but they are not nameless, they have a heart and soul.  I don't know what caused him to be homeless, his story is probably similar to many others.  I will remember him this Christmas season and for the blessing I received when I touched his gloveless and cold hand . As I left he extended his gloved hand and I shook his hand and looked him in the eyes.   There we were two strangers on a very busy street corner saying goodby to one another.

THANKSGIVING

I am thankful for all the serviceman who are serving our country that others may be free.  I am thankful for my health, my spouse, my kids and grand kids and my extended family and friends.  I am thankful for my home that keeps me safe and warm as I reflect on the homeless and the children who do not have enough to eat.  And so with all that I have.... why is my heart full of sadness at this time of year?

A quote by Alan Cohen in the book entitled A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE says it all for me.

Help me to heal my own mind so that I may be

a pure channel of blessing.

Help me to awaken, and let me not be seduced by

projecting my needs onto others.

I look within for truth and improve the world by transforming my own consciousness.

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work

to banish them with illumination and forgiveness.

Your willingness to wrestle with your demons

will cause your angels to sing.

by August Wilson

SUFFERING AND PATIENCE

My hawk photo taken at corner of Westchester and Chatham Rd while at a stoplight.



Sunday November 20tth 2011

Waiting with Patience

How do we wait for God?  We wait with patience.  But patience does not mean passivity.  Waiting patiently is not like waiting for the bus to come, the rain to stop, or the sun to rise.  It is an active waiting in which we live the present moment to the full in order to find there the signs of the One we are waiting for.

The word patience comes from the Latin verb patior which means "to suffer."  Waiting patiently is suffering through the present moment, tasting it to the full, and letting the seeds that are sown in the ground on which we stand grow into strong plants.  Waiting patiently always means paying attention to what is happening right before our eyes and seeing there the first rays of God's glorious coming.

Henry Nouwen

I was intrigued by this article because I had never thought of the word patiently and suffering having anything in common.   While standing in the toy store checkout it was a bit of a struggle to wait patiently which I managed to do and was polite and smiling at other waiting customers.  Everyone seemed patient with the clerks, even the one in front of me who had to wait for four dollars and the cashier was out of ones.  She rang up my order, took my payment and shut the drawer.  No one showed up with the ones so I offered her five ones for a five, she didn't know how to open the drawer.  After someone opened the drawer we exchanged cash, the other lady received her four dollars and we walked out of the store together.  I felt sure I was getting close to a panic attack and was glad to get out the door.

That took patience!

STOP THE THOUGHTS

Stop....think....do not allow the worry and impatience to overcome my thoughts.  Starting the day can be done at any moment by remembering to focus on the breath; saying it is going to be a wonderful day.

Impatience is a sign of hurrying

hurrying is a sign of worrying,

worrying is a sign of fear,

and fear is a sign that someone

has temporarily forgotten that it's

never too late to change their thoughts

and, therefore, their "things.

The Universe

http://www.tut.com/

DIVINE INTERVENTION

Yesterday  I was driving in pouring rain for an hour to pick up my Mother for lunch and Doctor appointment.
Being angry at myself for not wanting to do this with an open heart I prayed for God to take this anger from my heart.  Then I heard myself saying 'thank you Lord for the opportunity to take care of my Mother'.  Wondering why this thought came to me I decided to ground myself and surround myself with my bubble of golden light.  I don't remember if I sent this thought forward to the places I was going as I drove.

Picking up my Mother we drove to Cracker Barrel for lunch in the dreary misty weather.  Going slowly through the doors to the warmth inside I turned to the person behind me and said it is slow going and I am weighted down with our purses.  She had a beautiful smile and eyes and said that she understood because she took care of the elderly every day.  I asked if she worked for an agency and when she told me she was self employed my heart leap with joy.  She looked like an angel with her blond hair framing her face and her beautiful complexion and I told her we needed to talk.  She returned to her car and brought me her business card.  I took her to the table where they had seated my Mother and we talked for several minutes.  We invited her to eat with us but she had only came in to do some pre- Christmas shopping.  I hired her on the spot.  After completing her shopping and we had finished our meal she returned to the table with her schedule book and will be taking her grocery shopping Thursday.  Since she is an LPN I felt more comfortable have her being her caregiver.  She will help with any needs she has.  Mom was happy with this and Doctor said the tumor had shrank and she will be seeing a new Oncologist.  A very pleasant looking lady, hopefully she will like her.

Her business card had a very inspirational picture on it, very angelic looking.  Inquiring about the picture she told me her brother painted a larger picture of this and it is the Lord with his arms around a beautiful lady as his hands are lifting a cup to her lips.  I would love to to have a print of this.

Then after arriving home after a long day I had more good news.  My daughter in law was excited to tell me that she found a nice trailer, so now my grandsons will be living in a very clean trailer park with rules about keeping the property clean.  It is only two bedrooms but the boys will be happy getting out of a very run down neighborhood and being embarrassed by the environment.

The Holy Spirit is in control and provided for our needs.

BARING MY SOUL

On Tue Nov 22 I have to read my Bearings Letter in front of eight women in my Engaging Spirituality class.  It is more like baring my soul to the class.

 This would not have been at all possible with out my mentor and dear friend who encouraged me to put my thoughts on paper.  Having only written a short few words a year ago and setting up a blog with her assistance.  Now my assignment is to write about myself, introducing myself  is the first page.  The other three titles are My Struggle, My Practice and My Challenge.  Not realizing on the day that I signed the schedule that I and another lady are the first presenters.   The leaders have presented their letters and then weekly after me with be five more classmates.  Maybe it is good that I am first because I won't be judging myself with their professional writing styles. 

There is to be between 750 to 2000 words total, I do have about 1250 words written.  Fearing I will pick it to pieces I haven't had the courage to look at it for over a week. The DAY is getting closer and closer.  Not only do I have to write this stuff about myself but I have to READ it out loud and they are to listen intently and at the end of each letter they can reflect on a word or phrase I used.   OMG.....last week I had to read a letter written by Mary Jo Leddy, a missionary in Toronto and my voice was so raspy from allergies and being afraid I would miss-pronounce words that I sounded like an old man.  I like being a private person in a group and I used to just want to be invisible and not participate.  Well I guess I should give myself some credit as I have come a long way with the help of my dear friend and mentor and my healing touch provider.

The clock it ticking....when will I be brave enough to proofread that thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON

A single pumpkin always reminds me of the birth of my firstborn on Halloween eve in 1963.  Having a birthday on this day was a special day.  A time for dressing up in homemade costumes with whatever we could find around the house.  An old plaid flannel shirt made the start of a good outfit.  After celebrating with German Chocolate cake with homemade frosting and scoops of ice cream I would take those attending to a haunted house for more scary fun. This was even more fun for him than opening the birthday gifts.

The fall has always been favorite season for me as well as my son.  As the leaves fell,  he and his sister would rake up piles of leaves to jump into and cover themselves up.  After tiring of that they would get an old pair of their fathers jeans, tie string at the bottom of the pant legs and stuff them with leaves.  Then finding an old flannel shirt they would stuff the shirt full and sit this in a lawn chair on the front porch.  Using an old wig and  Styrofoam shape for a head they painted on the face, topping it off with an old hat. Ah....the memories this brings back.  It was simpler times then and they could go door to door in the small town where we lived without fear of receiving tainted candy.  When they were young I took them and enjoyed walking through the crisp air as they enjoyed their childhood innocent fun.

Now his two boys who are now seven and eleven are enjoying dressing up in store bought costumes and going to a few select homes to trick or treat.  They have never made a scary leaf stuffed creature to set on their little porch.  The do however love to have paint faces on their pumpkins.

ENJOYING THE MOMENTS

the hole

"It's not so much the hole inside me that I mind,"

she said.

It's the weight that's in that hole"

"then take the weight out and

leave it behind and fill the hole

with things that will make you fly,"

was her reply

terri st.cloud

The weight inside my heart was was very heavy many times during the month of September, so much so that I realized I had not truly enjoyed the beautiful weather and all that nature provides.  I stepped out onto the deck and there on the glider seat lay a single red maple leaf reminding me again how much I had missed of life just as the maple leaf did about twenty-five years ago.  All of our trees have green maple leaves still so I was thankful that this special leaf once again landed to give me a wake up call. 

 So I started to list the moments I could remember when I experienced miracles of the day. The first was assisting Daryl and Chris and their two dogs on Labor Day and what a blessing they were in my life.  Then I recalled the times during September that the Hummingbirds were feeding morning and evening storing up energy for their long flight to southern parts unknown to me. 

Taking our dog Sunny to Washington Park one beautiful day to read and try to get my life in balance.  As I got Sunny out of the car a young Mother called to me that her little one wanted to see my dog.  She brought him over and as I leaned over to talk to him he reached up his little arms for me to pick him up.  I hugged him close and his chubby cheeks were just inches from mine and I didn't want to put him down.  His Mom said he doesn't go to strangers and was surprised by his reaching up immediately.  She told me that she was taking classes at our Junior College and had skipped classes to be with him.  She was on bed rest during her pregnancy and that she had never left him with babysitters and that her parents were watching him while she went to school and I believe she was a single Mom.  His name was Uriah and he was a year old.  I picked him up again after he petted Sunny and his little body felt so precious.  I have never had that feeling even with my own Grandchildren.

I watched her as she showed him the ducks and walked around taking pictures of him by the trees and flowers and I felt old as I reflected back to my days as a very young Mom.  That memory of holding little Uriah and feeling God blessed me with that precious baby wanting me to hold him..  I came home and looked up the meaning of his name and in Hebrew it means 'God is Light' or 'My God is Light' and I knew the Divine placed him on my path that day and that God's love nourished my soul.

Buying the book by Norman Vincent Peale on Positive Imaging that my friend had blogged a story about I came across a story on page 95 about an elderly gentleman that had a habit of saying 'Today is going to be a terrific day'.  I changed this and for the past week have said many times throughout the day 'Today is going to be a beautiful day,'   This has  changed the way I view my circumstances as I set out to enjoy the beauty of life.

Someone recently said to me that at night when we lay our head on our pillow to know that I  did the best that I could that day.  So every day I strive to do the best I can and enjoy each beautiful day because we don't know how many beautiful days we have.

LOOKING FOR THE EXIT SIGNS

I told my sister yesterday that we were in the presence of our teacher.  All teachers are good in many ways as they teach us how not to be.  To search out our own meaningful things in life and to have a faith in all mankind is something we have worked on all of our life.  Some of our teachers do not try to reach out to others for lack of trust and not having received were unable to give equally to all.  I am thankful for the Holy Spirit and guardian angels guiding me on a different journey. How sad it is to see one so judgmental and a victim of their own thoughts.

The photo of the above exit sign I took was at the Opryland Hotel.  We got lost in the corridors trying to get to the Lobby to catch the shuttle and all of a sudden I saw the Lobby and told my husband I was going outside.  We were in the area where my friend and I had coffee and suddenly I knew how to get out.   It was like many of my dreams where I am going up one long hallway and down another of a hospital or some similar place.  Looking for the EXIT but never quite being able to get to the doors.  This thought came to me again yesterday as we wandered the halls of the Doctor's office searching for the EXIT to get us out of there and into the sunshine and fresh air.  What a relief to get outside and taking a deep breath of refreshing air, pausing to talk to a volunteer outside who briefly told me a little of her story. Restoring my faith in others and myself.

REMEMBERING 911

As I took this photo both elevator doors were closed and I didn't see the instant the door opened.  I was taking a picture of the elevators in the Garden Section of the Opryland Hotel where we had been trapped on Sunday Sept 4th, 2011.  We had used these elevators many times from our room on the fourth floor to the lobby floor.  There was construction going on and one elevator of the four available was not being used due the remodeling. 

On Sunday a little before 5:00 pm we got on the elevator to go to the first floor to catch the shuttle for the Gen Jackson Riverboat dinner cruise.  There was a very nice bellman with two empty luggage carts and a young lady who had just gotten off work and was on her way home to her nine year old and her eighteen month old baby.  As we greeted each other and smiled confident we were all going to the first floor.

In an instant the power went out and the elevator slammed to a stop.  There we were in total darkness.
I and the young girl opened our cell phones for light and the bellman was on his phone calling security.
The red emergency phone didn't work at first and now I'm not sure it ever did.  The bellman spoke very calmly to us saying it was probably just a blown transformer.  Of course instantly I smelled a hint of smoke which could have been the cause of the loss of power or my imagination.  Once I calmed my self down by breathing and using a tapping on the ear and chest I had learned at a retreat I relaxed.  As I sat by the young lady she in her broken English told me she was from Egypt and had been in this country for six years and had worked at Opryland for three years.  I thought to myself here she was in a strange country with a three year old when she arrived.  Her English was so broken I couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me about her husband.  I kept thinking over and over about the thousands of people trapped on 911 in the twin towers and many were probably in the elevators to different floors to start their work day when they were trapped and died.  I prayed that we were not in a similar situation but we never know what can happen in an instant.
Suddenly the first floor flashed on for a split second and she said 'I pray Jesus' now I pray more Jesus.
I had my hand on top of hers and when the bellman and the security pushed the door open and we stepped down about eight inches to the second.  She hugged me and couldn't let go and kept saying 'I love you'  as we went to go our separate ways she grabbed me again and we hugged for many seconds.

Needless to say my brain was a little rattled after being trapped for 25 minutes, the longest 25 minutes of my life and I was very thankful to be safe. We never know the instant the door of life will close.

The saying when one door closes another door opens came to my mind when I took the photo of the elevators.
So I pray for all those who lost their lives and all the families forever scarred.  For the survivors still healing from their physical and emotional pain which will last a lifetime.  For all the Fireman and Police and hundreds of others helping to rescue the living, many losing their life in trying to do so.  For all of the brave people as they tried to recover the remains of those who died.  I send prayers, peace and love to all of them wherever they may be  Peace to all.

PEACEFUL SETTINGS



I'm not a victim anymore

"slam the door,

I'll open a window

close my window,

I'll find a crack in the wall,

caulk the opening in the wall,

I'll bust thru the bricks-

because I'm not a victim anymore"

terri st. cloud



When we have been deeply hurt by another person, it is nearly impossible not to have hostile thought, feelings of anger or hatred, and even a desire to take revenge.  All of this often happens spontaneously, without much inner control.  We simply find ourselves brooding about what we are going to say or do as pay back the person who has hurt us.  To choose blessings instead of curses in such a situation asks for an enormous leap of faith.  It calls for a willingness to go beyond all our urges to get even and to choose a life-giving response.

Sometimes this seems impossible.  Still, whenever we move beyond our wounded selves and claim our God-given selves, we give life not just to ourselves but also to the ones who have offended us.

Henri Nouwen

And so I pray that the one who still holds so much anger in her heart will let it go and accept Christ and be able to die gracefully for her own peace and those trying to cope with her impending death.

Forgiveness is a way of life that gradually transforms us from being helpless victims of our circumstances to being powerful and loving co-creators of our reality.    by Robin Casarjian

The light of divine wisdom shines in my thoughts and fills me with understandeing.--Silent Unity

While you are proclaiming peace with your lips, be careful to have it more fully in your heart.

                                                     St. Francis of Assise

Being true to myself, I experience harmony and peace.

Healing Light

Some days I feel twinges of guilt and moments of sadness that I have had to set boundaries and yet at the same time an overall relief that I don't have deal with their drama.  If only it didn't have to be that way but I cannot change this other person and I cannot help them if I am in melt down mode.  I have to put on my life preserver jacket and save myself first and then I can help someone else.
Surrounding myself with a bubble of golden light for protection from negativity so I don't absorb anothers negativity lke a sponge.

MYSTICAL FEATHER



Sunday afternoon when we arrived home after church and having lunch Larry noticed something in the front yard near the Maple tree.  Walking up to see he replied 'it's only a feather'.  But I said no it must be my lucky feather, a mystical magical feather and so I picked up the fragil feather that was standing straight up.  With its wispy fine downy feel I wondered if it was a goose down feather.  Or could it be like the pennies from heaven stories and it was sent to me from my Guardian Angel to let me know the Divine spirit was watching over me.

I suppose it could be from someone's feather duster but no....I want to believe it was sent to me from Heaven above.  It makes for a much nicer thought as to how the feather landed in my front yard.

LIVING YOUR LIFE

truly alive

"living to please was exhausting.

she had to leave their expectations behind.

listening to her heart, she followed.

following her heart, she danced.

and she began to feel truly alive"

terri st. cloud

In having to set boundaries recently with and elderly relative I did indeed feel a twinge of guilt and yet at the same time a sense of deep relief that I was taking care of my emotional health.  I cannot allow myself to be the scapegoat for all of her venting on things I cannot fix or being blamed for things I did not do.  And so someone else will be running errands and and taking her to Doctor visits, someone she really likes and that doesn't have a past with her to trigger emotional melt downs.  I will still be involved doing what I can at a distance.

How can I live my life if I am emotionally drained and exhausted?   No I must take care of myself first so that I will be able to do for others.

IN REMEMBRANCE OF MY DAD

Born March 4, 1914-Died August 14, 1996

Irwin Francis Brennan

God hath not promised

skies always blue,

Flower-strewn pathways

all our lives through;

God hath not promised

sun without rain,

Joy without sorrow,

peace without pain.

But God hath promised

strength for the day,

Rest for the labor,

light for the way,

Grace for the trials,

help from above,

Unfailing sympathy

undying love.

I feel his presence and love after all these years,  I understand and feel his pain.  I have released so much in my life here and now my Dad doesn't have to experience pain and suffering and rejection any more.  He has been with the Holy Spirit and Angels for fifteen years now.  Today when receiving energy work we asked my Dad to bless me with his presence as well as the Divine and my Angels to assist in my healing.

Even though Dad wasn't always present in the home, I knew in my heart he loved me and thought of me often.  And so with tears in my eyes I thank you for being there for me and giving me love.

Thank you Lord Jesus for my Dad

LONELY LITTLE GIRL

I have never met the little girl I am writing about.  She lives in a small town in a small senior apartment complex.
She is only three  years old with blond straight hair but she could be any lonely child.   My heart aches for this small child who is living with her mother as she begs for attention from the elderly people living there.  Most of them are nearing ninety years of age and don't want to be bothered by her even for a few minutes.  They have complained to the apartment manager about her.  I can picture her as she goes from door to door ringing the door bell wanting someone to pay attention to her and even  asking for a kiss.  This is not safe for her to do and her Mother should be outside playing with her, there is even a playground across the street.

When I have to listen to stories of something she did she is referred to as 'that little girl' which is sad to me.     Apparently they are all so old and not well that they cannot imagine how a small child must feel as they tell her to go home.  There have been a couple of preschool age boys living there at one time and the one who complains to me thought they were wonderful and would sit outside with them on the bench for a short time.  She still misses them and they did stop by to visit earlier this summer.  But she has not liked 'that little girl' from the day she moved in.  To me this represents my inner child at age three.

Why do the little ones have to suffer?

So I say a prayer for her and send Light to comfort her.  If anyone reads this please send love and Light to Addison.

THOUGHTS AND FLOWERS

'WHAT YOU EMPOWER-FLOWERS'

I was given the above quote last Thur and am trying to change my thought patterns.


There is a purpose, a plan, and a reason for all things.  What doesn't make sense, will make sense.

You are exactly where you should be.

Your challenges are what they should be.

Your rewards are what they should be.

And the best is yet to come.

THE UNIVERSE

http://www.tut.com/



PRIME THE PUMP

Photo of old well pump at Light house in Michigan.  To get water to flow you had to prime the pump.  So it is with me and trying to write my thoughts.  I have started an exercise routine so hopefully this will help me get with the flow of life.

JOYFUL MOMENTS

Riding the Ferris wheel brought such joy to my heart sitting in the middle of my two grandsons.  They loved it and we went back the next day for another ride.  We had two fun filled days and even went to New Salem for a quick walk through with the heat index over 110 degrees.  Stopping in the gift shop and the end of the trail brought back memories of bringing my older grand kids there and my grandson purchasing a white rabbit skin, which is still in the toy cabinet.  These two were also attracted to the soft rabbit skins and each bought one and some arrow heads.

They are looking forward to going to the State Fair again this year and they want to bring their Mom as she hasn't been there since she was a child.  Last year was their first time for the big fair and they really enjoyed riding the trolley throughout the grounds.  We all liked the Vose's corn dogs and lemon shake-ups.

The memories we make help keep me going when I am missing them.  Grandchildren are one of Gods greatest gifts to me.

IMPERFECT PICTURE

The Living Life tree and verse I liked so much is now damaged goods.  I took down a picture of a covered bridge that I can look straight ahead and see when I am in my recliner.  I thought it would be a perfect place to reflect on the photo and verse.

I removed the picture from the wall, held up my new one and it was a perfect fit but needed a new picture hanger.  I set it on the floor while I replaced the covered bridge picture and the nail was loose and the thing fell and scraped my leg and hitting the top of my new picture pulling a chunk loose.  So with my damaged picture and bleeding leg I felt like crying and screaming..I didn't but I'm sure I yelled some type of profanity.

I'm going to try to put some glue on it and press it back in place, maybe I could lay a fake flower on top to cover the damage.  I paid to much for the thing to just throw it out which I felt like doing.  I had Hobby Lobby put an attachment and wire on the back to hang the thing.   Oh well, its just stuff no real damage done to anyone other than my scratch.

 Nothing or no one is perfect...except Jesus.

Moon Dreams

I had a dream last night of looking at a full moon and all of a sudden the moon was surrounded by tiny stars such as I have seen at the Chiara church.  It was a very spiritual sight and I could almost see the Blessed Mother and halo in the center of this image.  The image changed back to the moon and the words appeared 'Phil 1:2'.  I remembered this as soon as got up and looked up the verse which is 'grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ'. 

Living Life

Living Life

Life is not a race-but indeed a journey.  Be honest.  Work hard.  Be choosy.

Say "thank you", "I love you", and "great job" to someone each day. Go to church, take time

for prayer.  The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.  Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper.

Love your life and what you've been given, it is not accidental - search for your purpose and do it

as best you an.  Dreaming does matter.  It allows you to become that which you aspire to be.

Laugh often.  Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them.  Some of the best things really are free.

Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming.  Forgive, it frees the soul.  Take time for yourself - plan for longevity.  Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know.

Live for today, enjoy the moment.

Bonnie L. Mohr



Having my grandsons here since Sunday evening has been such a joy.  We went to the new Scheels store and rode the Ferris wheel which they loved and want to go back today.  In browsing around I saw this picture with a beautiful verse and purchased it.  I had felt something was missing in my life and didn't know what it was...then I realized 'I' was what was missing in my life.  I was back to existing and going through the motions but not motivated to move to do anything about it. 
After not being placed in the U of I controlled exercise program because of being to sedentary, several of us were sent to the lobby while others went into a room with the name of the program on the door.  We were given t-shirts and after awhile all that didn't make the cut were sent to another room.  We were told to get the folder under our chair which stated that we were in the 'waitlist program'.  You could feel the energy drop as everyone realized we weren't chosen to participate.  Some were sad and a couple were angry.  I realized my body hadn't betrayed me but rather I had betrayed my body by not exercising.  I cannot get up off a chair with using my hands for support because of weak leg muscles.  U of I will call us bi-weekly for the next six months and in January we will wear the activity monitor again.  We were told to continue life as usual but I can not sit on my duff any longer.  I am going to get with my own program of yoga, arthritis water classes and using my arthritis exercise CD.
Wanting to live my life to the fullest in whatever number of years I have left.



SOOTHING WATER

In trying to figure out why I used to have more motivation in the past than I have felt for some time now I realize those were the times I was involved in a group water aerobics class.   I had not  been to the Fit Club for months and at first I was going three or four times a week.  Just couldn't motivate myself to go work out on the easier machines.  It still didn't offer any connection with others and I just didn't care for their water class so I quit going and still have one more payment on my contract.  I had taken many months of physical therapy there as a result of a broken bone.  While I was doing my rehab in the warm water pool and not wanting to commit to a contract to join at that time my therapist told me about Lewis Wellness Pool.  It is more private and you only pay month to month so I joined and made friends with the instructor.  She convinced me to get certified to teach the arthritis water class so I could sub for her.  So I got brave and drove an hour to the location for the day long certification, this being less than a year after my broken bone.  My friend doesn't teach there any longer but yesterday I saw one of the ladies I used to talk to while exercising and she encouraged me to come back.  I nearly missed seeing her because I was going to stop at the small vegie stand in the mall parking lot and changed my mind and then all of a sudden I turned around and went back to get some corn.  Thanks so the Universe I made connection with her and am planning on going back to the classes that are three days a week, sometimes a potluck and sometimes the group goes out to lunch.

Not only does the warm water make my muscles feel better, the endorphins released make my mood so much better.  The ladies are all nice and almost all are in their sunset years.

Why I don't stay motivated when I know it is in my best interest?  Sometimes just missing a class or two is all it takes and I don't go back.

LOOKING FOR HAPPY

Trees at Mission Point Lighthouse-Traverse City, Mi.

I have the new computer desk and beautiful Malachite green Italian alabaster egg bookends to hold a few of my favorite books on my desk.  My goal is this week to put my many papers in the new hanging files to reduce the cluttered stacks I have in hopes it will help calm my cluttered mind.  I seem to procrastinate on organizing my stuff and just move it from one place to another.  When I worked I was so organized with my files and work, setting daily goals to get all the necessary paper work done.

Now that there are no deadlines or expectations from anyone I just let things slide.

Once when I was bringing my grandsons to stay all night the older one was a little grumpy.  They were about five and nine at that time, I told them to see if they could find their 'happy'.  Something that makes them happy inside and puts them in a good mood.  After several minutes while traveling I asked them if they had found the happy place way down deep inside, the little one replied 'I found mine but my brother didn't'.  He did eventually find something to make him happy and we had a great time together.

So each day I need to remind myself to find and do something that makes me happy because happiness is an inside job. 

SURRENDERING THE BUTTERFLIES

Ah, the beauty of the landscape being so peaceful and quiet not wanting to be other than what it is.  If only I could see the beauty all around me every day instead of a two day vacation it would seem as if my world was perfect.  But knowing myself I would soon be having anxiety over things I cannot control and not wanting to open my hand to surrender it to the Divine, to let it rest...in the hands of God.  Attending Mass in the St. Joseph church the Priest spoke of rest frequently, stating God rested on the seventh day and we must rest each day to restore our soul.  I kept hearing the words 'let it rest' over and over again until it became a message to me to let my worries, concerns and anxiety about family to 'just let it rest'.  After all I know in my heart I have no control over anyone and in reading the book 'Holding a Butterfly' by Lynn Woodland has given me insight to opening my hand to let it go and I keep reminding myself 'let it rest'.

So if I just learn to fill my days with positive thoughts and do the things I love to do instead of sitting here staring out into the back yard my life could be full. Taking my dog Sunny for a walk yesterday I looked up through the trees to the clear blue sky and there was the hawk gliding above, I watched until it disappeared behind the trees.  Knowing I need to walk daily to refresh my soul the hawk was a reminder to get out of the house and look around at the beauty of our world.  So as with Sunny I receive small tidbits of treats and always wanting more. If I could give more, would I receive more?  So I will try to keep my hand open as if holding a fragile butterfly to see what life has in store for me.



Chateau Chantal

Traverse City, Michigan

A beautiful place to stay.  Sitting off the road at the top of a hill with the vineyards and the Bay visible from all sides.  We arrived late after a long drive and went past the front entrance to the next entrance, which was the wine tasting area.  As we pulled up by the door the first thing I saw was a statue of St. Francis.  I grabbed by camera and took a couple of snapshots of St. Francis who is one of my favorite Saints.  I felt this was a special place.  The carpet was a light blue with light pink full bloom roses.  Our room was named the Rose room and the sofa was in a pink fabric with roses.   Her book Feed my Lambs, Feed my Sheep; The Meals and Memories of a Lifetime by Nadine Begin is a wonderful keepsake.
Nadine and her husband Robert reside at the Chateau Chantal and were on vacation so we didn't get to meet them. 
In reading their story I learned that they were married on the Feast Day of St. Francis, therefore explaining the statue I saw when we arrived.  That and the fact that she had been a nun for twenty-two years and he a former Priest and they both had left the religious order to continue on a totally different path.
He building the winery and the Chateau.  A story only she could write.

BEAUTY OF THE TREES

Tree at Chiara Center





TREES

I think that I shall never see

A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed

Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear

A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;

Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,

But only God can make a tree.

Joyce Kilmer 1886-1918

I have decided that I should be more like the trees with roots firmly planted deep in Mother Earth.

Limbs and branches lifting upwards towards the light.  The trunk standing firm, yet the branches moving with the winds providing a fresh breath of air for all in her presence.  Being open to receive the love and light of others so that I may continue to grow and experience all that the Divine has given me.  Ever thankful for what I have and where I am at this moment.  Not judging myself or others, just learn to enjoy each day and moment of the freedom I have.

LIKE A ROCK

　

LIKE A ROCK

To be solid like a rock and letting the words of others roll off me like a stone rolling downhill. We went out to eat Sunday after church and had to wait nearly forty minutes for our food. There was a little chitchat about work related things. I then got brave and decided to use my voice asking my spouse what he thought of me purchasing a type of bookcase to keep by my desk. Asking the question, can you picture how this might look by my desk? Well, the words that came out of his mouth were totally unexpected. Bringing up a topic totally out of the blue while he was waiting for his food! No, he said I cannot picture it, how could I picture it when I have no idea what you are talking about. This is the first time I have heard about it. Meekly I replied that I had just come up with the idea and was seeking his approval. To which he sternly replied, if I say anything you just get upset, so if you want something for the kitchen just go by it. Stupidly I said I fear rejection, to which he replied ‘where is this coming from'.  I had cancelled the order for the hutch due to his comments.  There were no more words spoken on this and I had begun to feel like a single flower wilting without nourishing water.  My throat felt tight and I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes would flow for all to see but I managed to stay strong like a rock and recovered my emotions.
　
　

　　

Lessons Everywhere



Lessons Everywhere

After attending a seminar this past Saturday on stabilizing fabric and embroidery, I reflected on what I had learned that day. The instructor explained how to make the many projects and how to use the correct stabilizer. The craft projects and quilts looked perfect to me. She pointed out the mistakes and minor errors she made along the way to learning how to do the various techniques. How she embroidered a name on a thick bath mat and was pleased with the lettering. Then as she held up the bath mat, she saw that she had forgotten to change the black bobbin thread on this thick white rug with tan lettering on the front. Oh well she thought, the back will be lying on the floor. She told us that it is not a waste of our time, fabric, or money and by making mistakes that is the only way we will learn the correct procedure.

I have always berated myself and felt so inept when I had to re-cut fabric or make a new block. As I would sit there ripping out the stitches on pieces of fabric I had sewn together incorrectly I felt like I was the only one that had to re-do my work. Wondering why for some whatever project they are working on goes quickly and smoothly. My work goes very slowly and as in life, I feel like I am taking two steps backwards and one step forward. Learning from each mistake, I continue plodding along my path.

SEE AND BELIEVE

The real voyage of discovery consists not of seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
                                                        Marcel Proust

The eye is the lamp of the body.  If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.
                                                        Matthew 6:22

You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one.  Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own.  It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.
                                                        Paulo Coelho

THREADS OF LOVING LIGHT

The loving golden light we send out can be woven in and out of the people's lives we are  sending to and back to ourselves so all are connected.  In visualizing the weaving of the threads of light all are connected by the same love of the Divine.

Circle of Life

THOMAS MERTON'S PRAYER

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me, I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really understand myself, and the fact that I think I am

following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you

and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.

And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may

know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of

death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave my to face

my peril's alone.

About eighteen years ago I read this over and over as I was about to quit my job of twenty-three years and move to an unfamiliar city.  I found employment after one interview, rented an apartment, rented a u-haul and had my kids move me to be near the love of my life.  There were occasions I got lost in the big city and would stop at a friendly place and ask directions to a nearby street that I knew would lead me homeward bound.  Never indicating that it was my apartment I was looking for, I thanked them and continued on my way.  I had my grand kids with me once as I drove them past the Christmas lights on the north end and once again had to ask directions to a street I knew would take me home.

I have those same feelings again and I was searching for the patron Saint of Writers.  One site led to another and suddenly there was the prayer.  I didn't even know who Thomas Merton was at the time.

Today I went to the Chiara center about a series of classes on Engaging Spirituality they are trying to get enough people to attend.  I am drawn to learning more about Spirituality and now have information to read and am to let them know my intention.  There is a web site http://www.justfaith.org/ and a short video on u-tube.