BEAUTY OF THE TREES

Tree at Chiara Center





TREES

I think that I shall never see

A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed

Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear

A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;

Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,

But only God can make a tree.

Joyce Kilmer 1886-1918

I have decided that I should be more like the trees with roots firmly planted deep in Mother Earth.

Limbs and branches lifting upwards towards the light.  The trunk standing firm, yet the branches moving with the winds providing a fresh breath of air for all in her presence.  Being open to receive the love and light of others so that I may continue to grow and experience all that the Divine has given me.  Ever thankful for what I have and where I am at this moment.  Not judging myself or others, just learn to enjoy each day and moment of the freedom I have.

LIKE A ROCK

　

LIKE A ROCK

To be solid like a rock and letting the words of others roll off me like a stone rolling downhill. We went out to eat Sunday after church and had to wait nearly forty minutes for our food. There was a little chitchat about work related things. I then got brave and decided to use my voice asking my spouse what he thought of me purchasing a type of bookcase to keep by my desk. Asking the question, can you picture how this might look by my desk? Well, the words that came out of his mouth were totally unexpected. Bringing up a topic totally out of the blue while he was waiting for his food! No, he said I cannot picture it, how could I picture it when I have no idea what you are talking about. This is the first time I have heard about it. Meekly I replied that I had just come up with the idea and was seeking his approval. To which he sternly replied, if I say anything you just get upset, so if you want something for the kitchen just go by it. Stupidly I said I fear rejection, to which he replied ‘where is this coming from'.  I had cancelled the order for the hutch due to his comments.  There were no more words spoken on this and I had begun to feel like a single flower wilting without nourishing water.  My throat felt tight and I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes would flow for all to see but I managed to stay strong like a rock and recovered my emotions.
　
　

　　

Lessons Everywhere



Lessons Everywhere

After attending a seminar this past Saturday on stabilizing fabric and embroidery, I reflected on what I had learned that day. The instructor explained how to make the many projects and how to use the correct stabilizer. The craft projects and quilts looked perfect to me. She pointed out the mistakes and minor errors she made along the way to learning how to do the various techniques. How she embroidered a name on a thick bath mat and was pleased with the lettering. Then as she held up the bath mat, she saw that she had forgotten to change the black bobbin thread on this thick white rug with tan lettering on the front. Oh well she thought, the back will be lying on the floor. She told us that it is not a waste of our time, fabric, or money and by making mistakes that is the only way we will learn the correct procedure.

I have always berated myself and felt so inept when I had to re-cut fabric or make a new block. As I would sit there ripping out the stitches on pieces of fabric I had sewn together incorrectly I felt like I was the only one that had to re-do my work. Wondering why for some whatever project they are working on goes quickly and smoothly. My work goes very slowly and as in life, I feel like I am taking two steps backwards and one step forward. Learning from each mistake, I continue plodding along my path.

SEE AND BELIEVE

The real voyage of discovery consists not of seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
                                                        Marcel Proust

The eye is the lamp of the body.  If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.
                                                        Matthew 6:22

You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one.  Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own.  It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.
                                                        Paulo Coelho

THREADS OF LOVING LIGHT

The loving golden light we send out can be woven in and out of the people's lives we are  sending to and back to ourselves so all are connected.  In visualizing the weaving of the threads of light all are connected by the same love of the Divine.

Circle of Life

THOMAS MERTON'S PRAYER

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me, I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really understand myself, and the fact that I think I am

following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you

and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.

And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may

know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of

death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave my to face

my peril's alone.

About eighteen years ago I read this over and over as I was about to quit my job of twenty-three years and move to an unfamiliar city.  I found employment after one interview, rented an apartment, rented a u-haul and had my kids move me to be near the love of my life.  There were occasions I got lost in the big city and would stop at a friendly place and ask directions to a nearby street that I knew would lead me homeward bound.  Never indicating that it was my apartment I was looking for, I thanked them and continued on my way.  I had my grand kids with me once as I drove them past the Christmas lights on the north end and once again had to ask directions to a street I knew would take me home.

I have those same feelings again and I was searching for the patron Saint of Writers.  One site led to another and suddenly there was the prayer.  I didn't even know who Thomas Merton was at the time.

Today I went to the Chiara center about a series of classes on Engaging Spirituality they are trying to get enough people to attend.  I am drawn to learning more about Spirituality and now have information to read and am to let them know my intention.  There is a web site http://www.justfaith.org/ and a short video on u-tube.



Self Awareness

Of course, you do see that in your world

of constant change, the only thing that's really changing is you and what you choose to understand?

Even time and space are simply measurements of self-awareness

The Universe

http://www.tut.com/



Some days it seems that the more things change the more they remain the same.  It is what I do with those changes that matter in my world.  My self-awareness is continuing to open up to new horizons and spiritual awakening leading to a more balanced life.  My tool box is full of  positive things I have learned to take out at any given time to repair my emotional well being and heal my soul.

The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo has become my new favorite of daily reflections on my path to wholeness and awareness.  It has been a long journey to get this far and the path will continue ever forward.  Sometimes slightly smooth, sometimes not,  always providing the friends I need in my life for any given period of time.  Building a lasting connection with those placed on my own journey path of life.

Do Not Worry

So, do not worry about tomorrow:  tomorrow will take care of itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.   (Matthew 6)

Our desire for God is the desire that should guide all other desires.  Otherwise our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls become one another's enemies and our inner lives become chaotic, leading us to despair and self destruction.  

Quote from Henri Nouwen Society daily meditation.

DISCUSSING NEW IDEAS

A new idea is delicate.  It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn;

it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a

frown on the right man's brow.

Charles Brower

How do we nurture new ideas coming alive within us?  Do we feel rejection the moment the words flow from our mouth?  The snear or closing the door on our words can kill that which is starting to bloom with in us, as can the inability or unwillingness to see with fresh eyes can also stiffle new ideas.  It doesn't take much to cause the small boat gliding smoothly to be tossed by waves of negativity.

A quote by Julia Cameron I love is " Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a Divine Source.  As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity."

WORKING ON THE LITTLE SOUL GARDEN

　
　
As a child, I used to sing Que Sera, Sera while flying high on an old tire swing that hung on a large limb of the Maple tree. I believed the part about whatever will be will be, knowing the future was not mine to see. Now I am beginning to nurture myself daily so that each moment of the day will be more balanced and open to divine intervention. This week the weather being cooler,  I have taken the dog on a few walks and attended my Viniyoga class for the time in three weeks.  The little home office in my kitchen sanctuary is slowly coming together, the computer desk delivered and waiting for the service tech to put it together. The all in one wireless printer is a delightful addition to my area. I can now scan old photos to my laptop for use on my blog. The words still are slow to find their way to paper and other days a thought is stuck in my mind until I put on paper. I am more accepting of myself and others so I know I am on the right path of my little soul garden.

PRIORITIES

"A Hundred Years From Now It Will Not Matter What My Bank Account Was,

The Sort Of House I Lived In, Or the Kind Of Car I Drove....But The World

May Be Different Because I Was Important In The Life Of A Child."

Unknown



DIVINE GUIDANCE

　

　

　

Listening to the inner voices leading and guiding me through life is very real to me. Sometimes it is like a whisper in the mind and at other times it a very clear image of what needs to be done.  Sometimes I am led to a decision and I have a certain calm feeling knowing  I have been guided by the Holy Spirit.

When I pray to the Holy Spirit for someone’s needs and then am led to what I need to do I am very certain my Angels are watching over me and my family.  There is Divine order in the Universe for the plants, animals and people.  The Lilly's came up this spring at their appointed time and bloomed their lovely blooms.  I don't need to worry about things, I am not in control.  If I would always surrender that which I can not control my life would be calmer.

　

Kathy Travis



SEASONS OF LIFE

It's not the size of the home as long as love lives there.



SEASONS OF LIFE

I recently heard this phase of my life referred to as the sunset years. I love the sunset and so I liked the term. I had thought of it as maybe the fall season, which is also a favorite season of mine. Maybe the sunset years has replaced the term ‘golden years’. So I will think of these sunset years a time to explore what I want to be when I grow up. I want to continue learning about all the Universe has in store for me. To receive more of the Divine, surrendering my anger and jealousy. It has no place in my new inner being I am working so hard to create within me. The healing rewards I receive through energy work are more powerful each time. I set my intention during these sessions to surrender and to free up the words trapped in my mind that they might flow to the written word. Thus, releasing any pent up emotions and freeing my heart and soul to become what I need to be.
However, I have wandered aimlessly throughout my entire life without goals, not doing anything significant for myself. Yes, I had a good job and two beautiful children that were my only source of light. I felt hollow inside having hardly the energy to plod through each workday. At a seminar I attended a couple of years ago the speaker asked if we knew why were here. I did not have the answer. She very simply said you are here because God loved you. Therefore, I will honor the Divine, nurture, and love myself more each day to let my light shine.

Kathy Travis
June 11, 2011
　



Decisions.....Decisions....

Old Knotty Pine

I am impulsive when it comes to buying something I want. Do I need it? Or am I just bored and want something new in my life? I think I want a new kitchen hutch. After all the one I have is nearly forty years old and just a simple knotty pine. This was a purchase for the new fangled microwave that I had to have. Then I of course needed a microwave cabinet to hold the new device. Never really cooked in the contraption, but it was nice to warm up something rather than get out a pan.

I did find a hutch with glass doors today. The price was more than I wanted to spend, but spend I did without asking the man.  I once heard it is better to beg forgiveness that to ask permission. Therefore, I went with that idea, called him from the store and confessed. So now, less than three hours later I am feeling guilty. Not only because I made an impulse purchase but also am sitting here harkening back to the fond memories of the ’old knotty pine’ cabinet that has served me well.

All my grandkids have known to open the lower door to find treasures to play with while at Grandma’s. Coloring books and crayons, paper for drawing, little toys that came in a kids meal. An old domino set, playing cards and the ever popular Candy Land game.

The new one does not even have a drawer for ‘junk. How will I ever survive without the junk drawer? Where would I put all the junk?  It does have a door with two shelves but it cannot to hold the little one’s favorite items with love the way old ‘knotty pine‘does.

My kids cannot believe I still have the old knotty pine microwave hutch we had in the little kitchen in the corner. I can still see it sitting there.

Well, I just called the store to cancel my new paid for hutch and the store was closed!!
Now I will fret over this until noon tomorrow.

Can I really part with the ‘old knotty pine’? Tonight I do not think so. We will see what tomorrow brings. I did not see the Hawk while on my way back from shopping and I looked and looked. Would have felt better had the Hawk appeared.

Kathy Travis



Tending My Soul Garden

This little corner rock garden was was beautiful, complete with mulch paths lined with with various rocks.
Chairs and bench were new additions to the little 'secret garden'  Once the Hibicus are in full bloom the garden isn't visible.  You can enter through the garden arch with a statue of St. Francis on one side and a statue of the Blessed Mother on the other watching over the garden.  There were plants of various color both in containers and in the ground.  This was created by my daughter when my lovely white cat Sassy died twelve years ago.

  Now the weeds are taking over and the garden bench is quite worn and grey and looks as it it could fall apart at any time.  We did take care of the garden for a few short years and now it is looking worn and tired.  Something about this reminds me that if I don't take care of my own garden of the soul I will begin to look and feel like an uncared, neglected old garden.

So I will nurture my soul garden so that it can bloom and be filled with Divine Light.  I want the words that have been stifled so  long to flow through my mind and be released in the written word.  Thus freeing my being to be more open and accepting of myself and others.

A Child of God

A CHILD OF GOD

　
Recently I received some very old photos from my cousin. They were family photos of my Dad with his parents, one with his older sister and a class photo when Dad was about six. I had only one photo of my Dad as a baby and then as an adult. It was very moving emotionally to see him as a child about six years old with his parents, older sister and younger brother. I had only one photo of his Mother that was too small to see what she looked like. To see her as a young Mother and looking pregnant with her youngest son made me want to know more about her. There was my Dad at about six, standing in front of Grandpa with his little hands in his jean pockets and such a sweet face. His dark hair with bangs combed down on his forehead.  He had such a determined look on his little face. In the class picture, he was one of the shortest and was in the front row holding a small blackboard with the name of the school ‘White Pigeon School-District 70’, a little one-room school house. I could see some family resemblance in all of them. As a young man, Dad was a very handsome man. He was kind and loving to me and I feel I am the only one who understands him and all the struggles he went through from about the age of forty until his death in his mid eighties.  The why of this is a mystery to me. God  has given me compassion for those who struggle with their own darkness..


Kathy Travis
June 7th 2011　

My Prayer

　
　



　

My Prayer

　

　

　

Lord let me be as the Daffodils of Spring that bloom to bring joy to all.

Let me be as the gentle Summer rain that falls for the little children to enjoy as I once did

Let me be like the Fall leaves on the trees with their brilliant color for all to enjoy.

Let me be as beautiful as the Winter snow that blankets the earth and clings to the trees .

May I view nature as a child with wonderment of the seasons, and be able to enjoy all the seasons of my

life, and the lives of all mankind.

Kathy Travis
November 24^th, 2010

　

Creating My Sanctuary

Sunday June 5th, 2011


  I love the window on my right that holds two dragon fly sun catchers,  a dogwood flower and a hummingbird.  As I sit at the kitchen table, looking out the sliding glass doors leading to the deck I view my backyard.  The Maple tree now full of leaves and watching the birds fly in and out of the new bird house.  When the trees are bare I can watch the squirles chasing each other through the tree.  An occasional rabbit scurries across the yard in front of the sleeping dog.  I have Hummingbird feeders out but have only seen one come by.
I also have a couple of carvings from Bethlehem of the Holy Family.  My favorits is Joseph with Mary and the Baby Jesus riding a Donkey called ' Flight Out of Egypt.'  The grain of the wood is beautiful. Thus keeping me grounded in the Divine in my little Sacred Space.
I decided a couple of days ago I must create in my kitchen corner area my special home office with my laptop and new wireless printer I just purchased.  I am purchasing a sleek glass top computer desk and adding a new corner hutch to hold my numerous special items.  This in addition to my already existing sewing area contains what I need to feel creative in quilting and hopefully will inspire me to begin writing in earnest.
I have learned so much from my friend and mentor.  I will not be inhibited by insecure feelings of incorrect words or punctuation.   I am enough, we are all enough to be what we need to be in this world.

Breathing

Present Moment,

Wonderful Moment

 Breathing in, I calm my body.

Breathing out, I smile.

Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful Moment!

Thich Nhat Hahn



A favorite of mine I go to the breath to center and balance myself in this complicated world.

Somethimes it is the only thing that calms my mind.  As I breath in I imagine being surrounded by the

bright golden light of the Divine.  This protective bubble of Light protects me from the negative barbs and arrows others release when in my presence.  Keeping myself grounded helps me maintain my happy place inside and hopefully lets my light shine out to others.

Kathy Travis

Tired Lioness

After returning home the wheezing one had a release of the negativity that was causing the illness.  With guidance of  Healing Touch she is recovering nicely and is learning not to absorb others negativity.

Kathy Travis

Angelic Stranger



June 3^rd, 2011

　
While being in the Windy City the end of May I became ill with an upper respiratory infection. I spent the three days resting in our room while my spouse attended a convention and rallying enough to attend the evening functions. On the day of departure, I called the Bellman to take our luggage to the parking area. He was compassionate when he realized I was wheezing and not feeling well. He walked slowly with me to the elevator on the twelfth floor to meet my husband in the lobby. The elevator stopped twice for others and when they entered they heard this loud wheezing, purring old Lioness in the corner of the elevator. No one looked at her as she tried to stifle a cough rumbling to escape. I felt they were holding their breath so as not to inhale unknown germs. As we walked through the lobby, the Bellman and her balding mate continued along as she leaned against the wall allowing the pent up cough escape. On the next elevator standing next to her balding mate, he was unaware of her presence.
The tall young Bellman with dark curly hair seated her in the waiting area and took the luggage outside. Coming back in he briefly waved and continued on his way. Then stopping he returned to the wheezing old Lioness and reached out his hand to her. As she lifted her hand towards his, their eyes met and his heart and soul touched hers.
On the four-hour drive home, she thought often of the Angelic Stranger and his compassion.

Kathy Travis

The Maple Leaf That Made me Cry

The Maple Leaf That Made me Cry

　

In August of 1986 I was divorced at the age of forty one and being married for twenty three years I was in the throes of despair. He had been my first love at the tender age of only fifteen and I hadn’t dated anyone else. I had two beautiful babies by the time I was twenty and God gave the ability to raise them. My childhood was dysfunctal and I felt like a lost soul even though I lived with my husband and children. I never really felt connected to anything and more or less felt I was wondering aimlessly through life. Oh yes, I worked at the same employer for twenty three years. And since I couldn’t or wouldn’t share my story of my miserable marriage or the turmoil within myself my co-workers refused to talk to me when I came back to work after taking a week off when I was divorced. And so I felt even more alone but in time I met new friends who were also divorced and we were able to share the story of our personal pain.

After selling our home and moving into a two bedroom apartment on the third floor with a balcony I began to try to put the pieces of my life together which seemed like the patchwork pieces of a crazy quilt.

My beautiful first grandson was by then two years old and the only joy and passion I had in life. The disconnected fog was always there inside me even when I babysat which I did weekly and every moment I could. One day a year after the divorce while sitting at my little dining room table and looking out over my third floor balcony and feeling totally abandoned and feelings of tremendous despair a single Maple leaf floated down from somewhere above and landed on my balcony. At that very moment I began to sob and the tears would not stop. I suddenly realized I had not been present to life or the seasons of the past year and had missed so many precious moments of my children and especially my precious grandson. In looking back I realized I had not been aware of the beauty of the seasons my entire life and that I merely existed from one day to the next.

Especially this time of year I remember My Maple Leaf that made me realize what I had been missing. Maybe that was God’s way getting my attention because when I was a child I loved to climb our Maple tree and swing on my rope swing.

It has been a long slow climb to get to the place I am now in my life. I now love the seasons and God and the many blessings I have received in my life. I met and married a wonderful man and we love taking short trips and he is able to overlook my many issues as I am his. I am now retired and am still learning daily to be mindful and present to each moment.

And so I thank God for my Tree of Life which gave new meaning to my life.

Nov 12^th, 2010

Kathy Travis