THANKSGIVING

I am thankful for all the serviceman who are serving our country that others may be free.  I am thankful for my health, my spouse, my kids and grand kids and my extended family and friends.  I am thankful for my home that keeps me safe and warm as I reflect on the homeless and the children who do not have enough to eat.  And so with all that I have.... why is my heart full of sadness at this time of year?

A quote by Alan Cohen in the book entitled A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE says it all for me.

Help me to heal my own mind so that I may be

a pure channel of blessing.

Help me to awaken, and let me not be seduced by

projecting my needs onto others.

I look within for truth and improve the world by transforming my own consciousness.

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work

to banish them with illumination and forgiveness.

Your willingness to wrestle with your demons

will cause your angels to sing.

by August Wilson

SUFFERING AND PATIENCE

My hawk photo taken at corner of Westchester and Chatham Rd while at a stoplight.



Sunday November 20tth 2011

Waiting with Patience

How do we wait for God?  We wait with patience.  But patience does not mean passivity.  Waiting patiently is not like waiting for the bus to come, the rain to stop, or the sun to rise.  It is an active waiting in which we live the present moment to the full in order to find there the signs of the One we are waiting for.

The word patience comes from the Latin verb patior which means "to suffer."  Waiting patiently is suffering through the present moment, tasting it to the full, and letting the seeds that are sown in the ground on which we stand grow into strong plants.  Waiting patiently always means paying attention to what is happening right before our eyes and seeing there the first rays of God's glorious coming.

Henry Nouwen

I was intrigued by this article because I had never thought of the word patiently and suffering having anything in common.   While standing in the toy store checkout it was a bit of a struggle to wait patiently which I managed to do and was polite and smiling at other waiting customers.  Everyone seemed patient with the clerks, even the one in front of me who had to wait for four dollars and the cashier was out of ones.  She rang up my order, took my payment and shut the drawer.  No one showed up with the ones so I offered her five ones for a five, she didn't know how to open the drawer.  After someone opened the drawer we exchanged cash, the other lady received her four dollars and we walked out of the store together.  I felt sure I was getting close to a panic attack and was glad to get out the door.

That took patience!

STOP THE THOUGHTS

Stop....think....do not allow the worry and impatience to overcome my thoughts.  Starting the day can be done at any moment by remembering to focus on the breath; saying it is going to be a wonderful day.

Impatience is a sign of hurrying

hurrying is a sign of worrying,

worrying is a sign of fear,

and fear is a sign that someone

has temporarily forgotten that it's

never too late to change their thoughts

and, therefore, their "things.

The Universe

http://www.tut.com/

DIVINE INTERVENTION

Yesterday  I was driving in pouring rain for an hour to pick up my Mother for lunch and Doctor appointment.
Being angry at myself for not wanting to do this with an open heart I prayed for God to take this anger from my heart.  Then I heard myself saying 'thank you Lord for the opportunity to take care of my Mother'.  Wondering why this thought came to me I decided to ground myself and surround myself with my bubble of golden light.  I don't remember if I sent this thought forward to the places I was going as I drove.

Picking up my Mother we drove to Cracker Barrel for lunch in the dreary misty weather.  Going slowly through the doors to the warmth inside I turned to the person behind me and said it is slow going and I am weighted down with our purses.  She had a beautiful smile and eyes and said that she understood because she took care of the elderly every day.  I asked if she worked for an agency and when she told me she was self employed my heart leap with joy.  She looked like an angel with her blond hair framing her face and her beautiful complexion and I told her we needed to talk.  She returned to her car and brought me her business card.  I took her to the table where they had seated my Mother and we talked for several minutes.  We invited her to eat with us but she had only came in to do some pre- Christmas shopping.  I hired her on the spot.  After completing her shopping and we had finished our meal she returned to the table with her schedule book and will be taking her grocery shopping Thursday.  Since she is an LPN I felt more comfortable have her being her caregiver.  She will help with any needs she has.  Mom was happy with this and Doctor said the tumor had shrank and she will be seeing a new Oncologist.  A very pleasant looking lady, hopefully she will like her.

Her business card had a very inspirational picture on it, very angelic looking.  Inquiring about the picture she told me her brother painted a larger picture of this and it is the Lord with his arms around a beautiful lady as his hands are lifting a cup to her lips.  I would love to to have a print of this.

Then after arriving home after a long day I had more good news.  My daughter in law was excited to tell me that she found a nice trailer, so now my grandsons will be living in a very clean trailer park with rules about keeping the property clean.  It is only two bedrooms but the boys will be happy getting out of a very run down neighborhood and being embarrassed by the environment.

The Holy Spirit is in control and provided for our needs.

BARING MY SOUL

On Tue Nov 22 I have to read my Bearings Letter in front of eight women in my Engaging Spirituality class.  It is more like baring my soul to the class.

 This would not have been at all possible with out my mentor and dear friend who encouraged me to put my thoughts on paper.  Having only written a short few words a year ago and setting up a blog with her assistance.  Now my assignment is to write about myself, introducing myself  is the first page.  The other three titles are My Struggle, My Practice and My Challenge.  Not realizing on the day that I signed the schedule that I and another lady are the first presenters.   The leaders have presented their letters and then weekly after me with be five more classmates.  Maybe it is good that I am first because I won't be judging myself with their professional writing styles. 

There is to be between 750 to 2000 words total, I do have about 1250 words written.  Fearing I will pick it to pieces I haven't had the courage to look at it for over a week. The DAY is getting closer and closer.  Not only do I have to write this stuff about myself but I have to READ it out loud and they are to listen intently and at the end of each letter they can reflect on a word or phrase I used.   OMG.....last week I had to read a letter written by Mary Jo Leddy, a missionary in Toronto and my voice was so raspy from allergies and being afraid I would miss-pronounce words that I sounded like an old man.  I like being a private person in a group and I used to just want to be invisible and not participate.  Well I guess I should give myself some credit as I have come a long way with the help of my dear friend and mentor and my healing touch provider.

The clock it ticking....when will I be brave enough to proofread that thing.